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out on the blue nowhereThoughts, out of the blue
Thoughts just pop up on my mind sometimes, and yes, out of the blue, that is. I can't seem to keep my mind concentrated on things i
better put my attention on. Thoughts of moments about the past and the fears of the future are blurting out one after the other.
After I got off from work, basically that's 9 hours plus around 1-3 hours of overtime, I just go home right away. I get myself laid on my
bed and get a sweet nap and after few hours I wake up and dress up for yet another long shift ahead. But there are days that I can't get enough sleep. All I do is just lay on my bed, switch positions
(I'm not talking about sex here, geehhh) from the opposite sides of the bed, and occasionally stare bluntly on the wall or on the ceiling. I keep on thinking things that I even don't wanna think
about. I keep telling my mind to sleep coz I basically need it for the type of job that I have, but my mind just won't do so. I was trying to avoid drinking coffee during work hours and instead load
myself up with ample amount of h2o (water) just so I won't dry up talking 8 hours straight on the phone, but it seemingly won't do me any good. I don't know if it's just a paranoia or sort of
like that.
During those sleepless days, things are basically all coming up to me. There was silence on the room but my mind is blurted with so much
noise. I would recall the past experiences I had with my previous calls. Sometimes I keep on thinking what happened to my previous customers since their issue is unresolved ora I was hoping that
those customers I had with resolved cases would give me a satisfied mark on the random survey. Sometimes, I think of things that are usually happening at our
home in Canlaon, Oriental Negros, during such hours. Then I would start missing my family, our cute little boy sa house nga si Lenard, then of course I'd starting thinking about my
girlfriend and also some old friends and classmates in dumaguete. Sometimes, I'd think about what will happen tomorrow. I'd start sorting out things like what I should have to do tomorrow and what I
will be on top of my to-do list. I also get weird sometimes that I'd imagine I have this very powerful capacity of doing magic and having everything I want in just a flick of my fingers. I would
imagine going to SM or ayala with the whole family and I would give each of them credit cards, all registered to me, and I'd tell them to shop everything that they want. I would be having body guards
all around me and I'd spend much on my precious cars and book several tours with my girlfriend outside the country. Isn't that nice? But isn't it weird? I don't know if you get to be like at one
point of your life, but surely I find it peculiar.
Just a little while ago, I watched the live feed on TV regarding the senate conference of the senators with this controversial man over
the ZTE broadband scam, Mr. Rodolfo Lozada. It was yet already over but news and or flash reports are still talking about it every now and then in their shows. I can't sleep again. I told myself
to get some rest because I will be on duty in the next few hours because I would be rendering a 6th day OT since I had had much time for relaxation since I had been on two days vacation leave and
followed by 2 days off thereof. But it keeps on coming back on me again. I could still vividly remember the crying lozada, the frightful expression on his face every time he gets to mention names of
prominent position in the government, the innocent look every time he gets turned around on his arrogant statements. I even chuckled when I remembered senator Merriam Santiago revealing Lozada's
small time scams on his projects when he was still the CEO or president of the Philippine Forest Department. Sen. Santiago was just really phenomenal for me. I truly like her approach on issues.
Then, yes, here it goes again. My tireless mind just keep on kicking again. If only I can only squeeze it and tell it to shut up, I would probably do so.
As I had said earlier, unrelenting things just keep popping out of my mind when I thought it would be best for myself to rest. I
researched on the net on how I can manage to get more sleep but the advices there doesn't seem to work for me, or at least had little or no effects at all. Inadvertedly, thanks for the walkman phone
that I have so every time I can't get to sleep I would just listen to my favorite tracks and when I get tired listening, I would be snoring for at least 3-4 hours and wake up with still the sound
banging my ears. But I still thank God i can still manage to wake up though. I guess the point is, even if I can't get much sleep, at least, at the end of the tiring day, I can still wake
up and stretch and work my self out for yet another promised day ahead. **Lance**
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