NoBetterBlog.com
punkies07
Mon
12
May
2008
Uncertainties, realizations, et al
Today I realized many things. I have been through so many ups and downs in my life but today has marked a definitely unforgettable realization experience.
I had been lost. I didn't know where am leading. I know I could have done better in those good ol' days and I wish I could take everything back to the way they were and
make everything right again. Thoughts of the past have haunted me and I can't seemingly move forward for the future. These salty tears has been drowning me for
days now. But everything was a mistake. I need to straighten things out now and today, yes today, will be the start of it.
I realized that love is always a cherished thing, something holy. It's something that needed respect and trust. I don't have to be perfect in love and I don't necessarily have to seek love - "Let infatuation die a natural death, and give birth to TRUE LOVE in its own time." Just love and forget the reason why.
I am sad, but I am happy about it. I realized that sadness is indeed self-inflicted. I have options in life and I should be wise enough to choose what is best and right for the situation. I should choose to be happy but I could cry sometimes. Salty tears give spice to a bland tasted life, but I should always make it a point to remember that melancholy is an act of sadness, but it's not a habit.
I also need to die every once in a while. I realized the life is not eternal and death is something to be prepared of. I thought of dying every now and then but I never thought of killing my self. That is sick! I am not pathetic and insane! I just thought that if dying would mean breaking away from a sad world, then dying should something that I should as well care about. It sometimes drive me to make better things while I am still alive and diligently work and work and work for me and my family. I know people will miss me when I am gone. (It always makes me cry when I think otherwise)
I am unique. I have realized that people are different. I really hate to be asked to give out something unique in me because ever since I never had thought of anything that could separate me from the rest. But now I knew that we are indeed unique from each one. It has been more defined by our mixed characters and identity. I am different in how I respond to the situation and I am different with how I feel everyday. I am different because I am sad and not all people feel the level of sadness that I feel nor the things and thoughts that run in my sad mind. I am different because this is me.
I just care too too much. I realized that I should not worry much about how people will feel or think about me. I am old enough for my actions and I should also know what are the consequences and be ready for it. Caring too much for everything has always been my weakness. But now I realized that caring for myself first and for those that I love is not bad after all. I just need to always acquire fair judgment on everything. They would understand and eventually respect the way I live my life. Society has it's own share of judgment and prejudice, therefore, I should know where to stand and how to respond to it.
It's always not too late to apologize. Apology eventually comes after one has already sinned or has already done something wrong. Well, I cannot really apologize first and do the sin afterwards. Therefore it's just right to say that it's not really late to apologize for any mistake that I have done. Time may also heal wounds. Apology after the wounds have already been healed may sometimes not anymore be necessary. I could just probably do something else that could patch up the scar left by my mistakes.
Apologize. I realized that I should learn to accept mistakes - that I could not always make things right. I should not be prideful enough to make excuses to cover my wrong doings. I should know that owning a mistake and asking for forgiveness or pardon for it will not make me a person of lesser value and my apologies come with a certain promise that I will never be like that or do that again.
Cute ko! Lol! I just realized that keeping good outside appearance is something I also have to put attention on. Watch out for my new hairstyle! nyahahaha
I am sorry. I would like to apologize to those people who's heart was hurt by me- for those feelings I have neglected, good opportunities wasted, good friends forgotten and fun moments forsaken. Pardon my broken and unfulfilled promises, my selfishness and wrong doings.
I am not perfect, I know. I will be better this time, I promise.
I realized that love is always a cherished thing, something holy. It's something that needed respect and trust. I don't have to be perfect in love and I don't necessarily have to seek love - "Let infatuation die a natural death, and give birth to TRUE LOVE in its own time." Just love and forget the reason why.
I am sad, but I am happy about it. I realized that sadness is indeed self-inflicted. I have options in life and I should be wise enough to choose what is best and right for the situation. I should choose to be happy but I could cry sometimes. Salty tears give spice to a bland tasted life, but I should always make it a point to remember that melancholy is an act of sadness, but it's not a habit.
I also need to die every once in a while. I realized the life is not eternal and death is something to be prepared of. I thought of dying every now and then but I never thought of killing my self. That is sick! I am not pathetic and insane! I just thought that if dying would mean breaking away from a sad world, then dying should something that I should as well care about. It sometimes drive me to make better things while I am still alive and diligently work and work and work for me and my family. I know people will miss me when I am gone. (It always makes me cry when I think otherwise)
I am unique. I have realized that people are different. I really hate to be asked to give out something unique in me because ever since I never had thought of anything that could separate me from the rest. But now I knew that we are indeed unique from each one. It has been more defined by our mixed characters and identity. I am different in how I respond to the situation and I am different with how I feel everyday. I am different because I am sad and not all people feel the level of sadness that I feel nor the things and thoughts that run in my sad mind. I am different because this is me.
I just care too too much. I realized that I should not worry much about how people will feel or think about me. I am old enough for my actions and I should also know what are the consequences and be ready for it. Caring too much for everything has always been my weakness. But now I realized that caring for myself first and for those that I love is not bad after all. I just need to always acquire fair judgment on everything. They would understand and eventually respect the way I live my life. Society has it's own share of judgment and prejudice, therefore, I should know where to stand and how to respond to it.
It's always not too late to apologize. Apology eventually comes after one has already sinned or has already done something wrong. Well, I cannot really apologize first and do the sin afterwards. Therefore it's just right to say that it's not really late to apologize for any mistake that I have done. Time may also heal wounds. Apology after the wounds have already been healed may sometimes not anymore be necessary. I could just probably do something else that could patch up the scar left by my mistakes.
Apologize. I realized that I should learn to accept mistakes - that I could not always make things right. I should not be prideful enough to make excuses to cover my wrong doings. I should know that owning a mistake and asking for forgiveness or pardon for it will not make me a person of lesser value and my apologies come with a certain promise that I will never be like that or do that again.
Cute ko! Lol! I just realized that keeping good outside appearance is something I also have to put attention on. Watch out for my new hairstyle! nyahahaha
I am sorry. I would like to apologize to those people who's heart was hurt by me- for those feelings I have neglected, good opportunities wasted, good friends forgotten and fun moments forsaken. Pardon my broken and unfulfilled promises, my selfishness and wrong doings.
I am not perfect, I know. I will be better this time, I promise.
print version
